Size Seven Shoes

Hello there folks. Just dropping you a note to let you know that I have, well, moved over to Wordpress. Haha. Story goes that Deric, my husband, bought me a domain name for my birthday. Hence, I have my very own decent space on the Web now and Size Seven Shoes will now be put to rest quite permanently. No tears here though, as this has been a very confused and conflicted blog with no clear identity. Here's to hoping for better posts and thoughts to share at my new home on the Web. And of course, you're most welcome to visit. Do click here .

Just learned a new term today, which was mostly by accident. Plot bunnies ! Now I know what those restless, mind-gnawing thoughts in the odd hours of the day are called. Hehe. Think I might have found a plot bunny of my very own to adopt. But well, we'll see. Pets are not an easy responsibility to take one. Care to pick one for yourself too?

Sometimes I feel as if I haven't grown up yet. The feeling that some random day I'll wake up in the morning only to find myself back in my parent's home; my dog Hans standing at the side of my bed nuzzling me to wake up. And my grandmother would not yet have died. The distance between my sister and I would not yet have grown. I would not have to worry about keeping a job yet; in fact, I would not yet have graduated. God's presence would be so close to me, and I would feel weightless, like I needn't worry about my life before me. My heart would not yet have been broken, and I would not care for a boyfriend yet, because life was often fine without one. People I know from childhood would not have left for other places on the pretext of seeking better things. Friends would not have migrated yet, and would still meet with me and speak to me often. I would find solace in poems and music, and feel no guilt, no regrets. And I could still journal, and prete...

Life is like a colourful jar of jelly beans.  Every day carries a different flavour, a unique experience to add to your overall taste of life. But the flavours are what make life interesting, and worth living.  Daily experiences also often leave us with plenty to chew on afterwards. What would life be without having stuff to ponder over, after all? God gives us brains for us to use them, I believe.  And regardless of what jelly bean flavour you and I may be encountering on any given day, there's always a sweetness that shines through all of life: the dependable, constant presence of God that makes everything meaningful and worthwhile.  So ends my brief analogy. I hope that the next time you pick up a jelly bean you'll be thinking about how precious your life is and feel comforted in knowing there's a purpose to it and a God behind it all.

  Here I am, sitting on the balcony on the eleventh floor, fighting to reclaim something I believe I might have lost on the way here.  It has been awhile since I've blogged, but that is quite trivial when compared to the fact that I have not written anything worthwhile in ages. You do not need to blog to produce something revolutionary. You just merely need to put your thoughts on paper... or, in some cases, on the screen. What matters is you get those ideas out, and then perhaps, some magic might happen.  Things have been nothing short of magical for me over the past year or so, and particularly since I recently got married - a fairytale that most young girls dream of for more than half their lives.  But that for me is not enough to satisfy. There are things, buried within the depths of my soul, which require excavating and pondering over. I do not speak of even the profound things like what does my life amount to or what legacy do I hope to leave b...

Learning how to use my own judgment and being confident about it is still something that I am perfecting. Perhaps you could call it a lack of self esteem (probably some people out there do regard it this way, I suppose) or see it as a form of immaturity. Well, all I can say is that, though I will reach the age of 29 in a few months, there is still so much to this life that I have yet to understand and even more so, master. I have heard it once said that the old and wiser ones tend to take the humble attitude that all they know is but a fraction in proportion to the total knowledge there is to acquire on this Earth. (Not to mention, working on improving one's character, that is). Just some thoughts I was pondering as I stuck someone else's thumbdrive into my netbook to copy some files over. My antivirus gave me a pop-up saying that there was malware in the thumbdrive concerned. On my closer inspection, I found that it was referring to a program that would autorun whenever th...

Lately I've been wondering if it still means as much to me to want to publish a book. It feels almost as if it doesn't matter anymore. Or perhaps I'm just still in the semi-transition mode due to adjusting to married life such that I haven't quite fallen back into a life pattern where I re-establish my other hobbies and passions in life into my routine. Let's just wait and see. But I cannot deny that some things do feel different now.

Now and then I am seized with a sense of dissatisfaction that the deep wells of ideas which I used to have of blog topics has apparently run dry. Then again, perhaps it has not run dry, but rather, I have become too lazy to fetch a bucket and send it plunging into the great depths to draw out whatever imagination there is inside of me. Imagination does not come easy these days. Some people say it's easier to create high quality works of art whenever an artist is plagued by melancholy or sadness. While that's true, I really wouldn't want to go back to such misery again just so I can produce some remarkable masterpiece. I'm happy where I'm at now. Surely this can't always be true, and there is a way that I can still write great stuff while being content with life?

Okay, so I feel like my creativity has fizzled out, and therefore I have few words that are coming to mind as I'm trying to write a post now. So I will let pictures do the talking for me for once. Outwardly, I now look like this: But inwardly, I feel like this... ... and like this... Eww, that last one looks awful, doesn't it? Okay, so I'll come back later when I've got my word power back, alright? Fingers crossed and bye for now. Thanks for stopping by :) (Psst, don't worry, nothing's been going wrong in life over here, it's just that my brain's in knots and I feel kinda numb. Maybe it's the lack of predictable routine or sleep, hmm I'm not sure. Okaythanksbye!)

Recent incidents have had some people I know asking me why do I carry out certain every day activities in a certain way which is different from what is perceived as the norm which everyone else follows. Well, honestly, I don't know. I don't set out to follow norms or trends, I just simply find a way that works for me and make that my habit or preference. Is the whole world only meant to be built on adhering to what's normal or acceptable? That kind of makes everything rather boring when you think of it that way, doesn't it? It's just like how it would be queer if the whole world consisted only of Malaysian Chinese. Although I am one, I think it would be such a shame if everyone else was just like me. (It would be freaky too.) They say that "variety is the spice of life" and I cannot help but agree. It is diversity that makes us human, and makes living on this Earth that extra bit interesting.

The more I think about it, the more I feel that journalism and extramarital affairs have much in common. Both are highly addictive, exciting and often involve a significant amount of danger. I say this as a former journalist who is presently out of a job and weighing the options on whether delving right back into this extremely challenging field of writing is necessarily a good thing. Perhaps my exposure to journalism isn't quite the standard fare as compared to the experiences of most: I have never worked for the newspaper (I worked for a weekly magazine funded mostly by an NGO) I have never worked on shift (I worked from 9.30am - 6.30pm, five days a week plus the odd weekend and night assignments that are inevitable for anyone wishing to cover current issues or unfolding news) I wasn't confined to beat/specialised reporting (I wrote articles for all six sections of the publication I worked for) I never took any formal courses in communications nor journalism (I was a...

Hello there. I'm hoping that my sporadic blogging habits will mean there is greater appreciation for posts when I actually do write them. Wistful thinking, I know, but what is life without a little hope, eh? Well, in any case, here I am, dropping in on all you silent readers out there as living proof that this writer still lives. Things just got busier now that Deric and I have acquired the keys to our new place. It's quite exciting, really, and this would be the first time in my life that there's an empty space over which I can have full say about how it should be decorated and upkept. Absolutely fantastic! Oh hmm but then again, coming back to the part on the full say, there's still his view to consider... Ah well. At least it's only for the two of us to fight out. Teehee. In other news, my Mum pointed out to me today several feature articles in The Star ( Now everyone can publish , E-book millionaires , Going digital ) which talk about e-publishing. So...

I've recently acquired another freelance job, making my employment count a grand total of two now. It's pretty interesting, I feel, because one of the jobs is requiring me to resurrect my knowledge on the (formal) study of the English language - things that I've abandoned ever since graduating with an SPM certificate from secondary school. I remember some time ago I was thinking to myself that I need to revise these language concepts so I can acquire more insight on how I can deliberately improve my writing (since I'd be aware of what I was actually doing). The only reason that I stopped short of actually putting those thoughts into action was that I wondered if after I had revisited all those troublesome principles of the English language, I might actually suddenly grow a distaste for writing altogether or become so confined in the way I constructed sentences that I would no longer know what it is to write creatively and freely. But I suppose that makes as much...

It's been 3 working days now since my last day at my old job. And surprisingly, it's been just as busy as it would have been had I been working, if not more. I have either been out running errands or have been occupied with one thing or another such that I have yet to get down to stuff I actually want to do. Nevertheless, these are exciting times. I used to think of uncertainty as being such a bother, but facing it now evokes a different spectrum of sentiments from me. Yes, of course, I am a little uneasy, especially since there are only 114 days left to my wedding. But yet I feel somewhat alright, and am content to just wait and see how everything pans out. It would be presumptuous to call this faith though. How does a person measure whether they have faith anyway? Of course we do what we can to trust God, but how do we know for sure that our confidence lies in having faith in Him alone, since it could be also partially influenced by other factors such as pride or...

According to Paul David Hewson, or more commonly known as Bono, the frontman of veteran band, U2, freedom has a scent. Well, if that is so, I suppose you would certainly be able to sniff it in the air now if you were anywhere near me.  You see, my colleagues and I were just informed of our redundancy last week. Apparently, the management of our publication has finally reached the decision that the magazine we have been writing for and keeping afloat for the past year or so will no longer be viable to upkeep.  It's money matters. Money is always the matter, isn't it? Well, well... there's at least some good news for you, dear readers of my blog. You will witness more frequent appearances from me in this space. No guarantee that what is written will make sense, or even be entertaining, but I guess you'll not know 'till you stop by.  Ah, I'm procrastinating again. I've a good few articles to complete for my soon-to-be-defunct employer, which explains my...

Tonight Deric and I went to see Peter Sinn Nachtrieb 's play, boom , which is currently showing at the Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre. Touted as "the Asian premiere of America's most produced play in 2009-2010" in the email invitation I received from The Actors Studio , I was naturally curious as to what it was all about and whether it was as great as the email had suggested. What I found was that it as just as was described in the review published in The Star . The outstanding features of the play were its riveting, hilarious script and the splendid performance that was put up by the actors. The play's script consisted was a colourful concoction of words, and was extremely delightful and witty although it would have been better had it not incorporated any foul language as part of the script. It also had the most elaborate stage setup that I've seen thus far (do bear in mind that I haven't really seen many plays thus far in my life).The stag...

This weekend I visited Canaanland (a Christian book store located near my house, to those of you who are not from the Klang Valley) and bought 2 books. My decision to get them was as a means of preparing for my upcoming wedding, which will be taking place in 152 days' time. One of the books I bought is entitled Intended For Pleasure and is authored by Ed & Gaye Wheat. I had heard a great deal about this book from couples who have undergone pre-marital counselling. It is said to be a good book to read about sex in the context of a Christian marriage. Since Deric and I will be covering the illusive topic of sex in our upcoming session with our pre-marital counsellors, Mike and Diane Constantine, I decided that the time has come for me to start educating myself on these issues and preparing to face them so I am not helplessly clueless when the time comes. But rather than focus on my personal preparation for marriage (which will probably be a long story in itself and warrant...

Good... morning.  Such irony there is. On a morning where Deric and I agree to meet up for morning exercise, it rains. It's amusing how the vagaries of nature can just suddenly jump out at you and foil your plans. But that's how it is, I guess. Nature is beyond our control. But it's not beyond God's. I guess we'll just have to make the most of this cool, wet morning. Even if the exercise part gets delayed, it's still a lovely morning in itself. To me, every morning is lovely because it's a new day. That means new chances, and a shot at new beginnings, too. *     *     * Through the Lord ’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not.   They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.  - Lamentations 3:22-23     

It feels strange to have a blog titled Size Seven Shoes and then to have a coffee cup picture showing on the site. I really should make my own template and put shoes into the design. Hmm. But I like this template.. how? :(

Chinese New Year begins tomorrow. I think it only really excites you when you're still a child. The thought of the angpaus and meeting cousins and playing games with them seems very much appealing at that age. At my age, it's not to say that I don't like Chinese New Year altogether, it's just that with each passing one, you feel the weight of how much time has flown and you wonder at where you're at. This is my final Chinese New Year receiving angpaus. Once I get married later this year, I will be the one handing them out. It'll be a different feeling. It's one of those markers in your life that make you realise how many years you've braved through, and wonder how many more there will be to come. I've never particularly felt responsible with money. Not that I'm a huge spender, but just that I don't particularly keep a close tab on where all the money goes. I wonder will that be a hindrance as I take on marriage. I wonder how much pare...

I awoke to the sound of birds outside my window. They were chirping cheerily and it felt as if they were saying to me, "Oh come on, time to get out of bed already, the New Year has begun and it's simply beautiful!" It's cloudy outside. I hear cars whizzing by as they zoom off to break in the day. Overhead, an aircraft flies, but my curtains are drawn so I can only guess at what kind it is, based on the sound it makes. I feel calm as I linger on my bed, but my mind has already begun spinning thoughts of things I should do but haven't done. Holidays end soon and then it's work, routine, mundaneness again. Unlike other New Years, this time I feel a tinge of apprehension for the upcoming realities that for now remain unknown. Previous callouses of the heart compel me to be wary of what will come, what I hold on to and may, at times, inevitably lose. I have watched as bodies age and leave this world. I have endured heartache. I witnessed betrayal and the resulting...