Size Seven Shoes

And so it is that I am back from a month long holiday. As is the case most of the time, days flew by much faster than expected... than wanted, in fact. So the monotony has been broken, the previous daily routine quashed, and now comes the part where change and improvement should be worked on. I have now the impetus for change, but the question is, will I do anything fruitful about it? That is the pertinent question. And that is also the one that is typically left to slide off into oblivion.

The words "I'm going on a holiday" don't roll off my tongue easily. There's this part of me that hesitates, because I feel as if proclaiming as such is a selfish statement in itself.  For one thing, people may be prone to think to themselves how is it that I am not doing anything more fruitful with the money and time I have but instead "squandering" it on a pleasure trip.  Then, there are the internal questions: Do I deserve such a holiday? What have I done to actually deserve it? And if I don't deserve it, what justifies me having to go for it? Holidays are so commonly taken by everyone these days. Travelling by air has been made so much cheaper, there are so many more options on where to stay, how to get around, etc. So it's not as expensive as it used to be. And yet you can get further, do more and all that. Nevertheless, in the light of other more so-called useful things to do with our money and time, is holidaying justified? It mig...

I am older now. Not old, for that would imply that I have gained wisdom that comes from age, which is not entirely the case. But yet, I am older... because I see more clearly now the rhythm of things. Of how life often flows in cycles. Seasons. Changes. Growth. Death. Rebirth. Purposes, which only time reveals. Stories now claimed because they have in fact been lived through. Attested to. The benefits of hindsight. Years add perspective to vision. Experience lends clarity to decisions. Old enough to know that not everything stays the same, and cherishing every single good thing counts. A little more worn in, perhaps a little more tired, a bit less easily amused but still hopeful.

I've always found the phrase "packing my life into boxes" amusing. People tend to use it whenever they're they're gathering their stuff in preparation move to a new place to stay. I've always wondered, figuratively speaking, what would the boxes contain if I were to literally attempt to pack my life into them? And by this I don't mean the physical things I own, but rather, what are the things that make up what my life is all about. Would it be full of perishable endeavours - things that perhaps bring pleasure only for the moment but have no real lasting value? Or would it have a respectable amount of treasures - invaluable items that were acquired through much determination and hard work? In a nutshell, would the boxes containing my life be a delight to someone else, had they been packaged into a gift box? Is my life of any worth? These are the questions that prod at my conscience presently.The answers are not straight forward in any sense of the w...

I'll admit it up front. I'm one of those strange individuals who tends to catch up to things a little late. I'm sure most of you normal people out there have been singing songs about the New Year coming round probably as early as the start of December, or maybe even long before that. But me, it's only now that I am feeling a stronger sense of that spectrum of emotions that accompany an anticipation of the brand new things to come in the soon-be-to year 2010. Well, whilst more than half the working population of Malaysia is still in its party-holidaying mood, I have been trudging to work every morning to an office that's two-thirds empty. Technically, somewhere in the back of my mind I realise that I am not alone doing this. Yet somehow, when I'm out on the roads driving to that faraway place where I work, it doesn't always feel that way. Nevertheless, I have been trying in my own little ways to keep myself motivated. For one thing, the roads are much c...