Size Seven Shoes

Oh, hello there.  It's another late night episode, and it's just you and me once more.  Well, it's been quite awhile since I've blogged so I guess it's about time I got back into it. And it's nice that you're here to keep me company.  I've just emerged from completing a copyedit job, and I've been living so much in a world created by someone else that it's so hard delving back into the real world AND even more so, the universe I had created myself (and need to return to), both of which seem like they're always threatening to fall apart at the seams at some unsuspecting moment.  I'm literally balancing a book on my lap as I type this. It's a book published by Harper & Collins, and it's by another pretty established Malaysian author. One who seems to have recently gained some degree of attention overseas, and I'm glad for her, of course... Just that I don't know why, it makes me feel lousy because of all the things I sho...

'Twas my father's birthday yesterday. He turned 76. I often think about how many more years I'll have with my parents nowadays. Especially in this present season where it seems like Death is on a roll lately.  I fear sudden endings that I am not prepared for.  It's always extremely easy to fall into the trap of taking things for granted when everything is within reach and just right in front of you. Like I can call or message or pop by to see my Pa or Mum anytime. And so I worry that I'll not take the notion of limited time seriously enough.  But so far, I think I can say that I don't really have that much regrets.  I mean, I chose to stay in the same city and in a location close to my parents all this while. And we do meet fairly regularly. So there's that at least.  Meanwhile, it made me a little sad yesterday when Pa told me that not many people had remembered his birthday at church. I'm usually not one to remember other people's birthdays and to ...

I'm not really sure where to begin, but basically, I just want to say that I attempted a novel these few months and that I finally entered it into a contest. There's more to be told about that particular manuscript than what I'm letting on right now, but let's just leave it at that for now.  I'm mostly here just to say that I feel like I'm still recovering from the entire exercise of writing the thing. I ought to term it my 4am Novel because that was what it was in reality. Most of it was crafted at that very hour each night, and in little spare moments I somehow managed to squirrel away throughout the day, any chance I got.  It's so HARD writing much of anything at this phase of life as a mother and wife. In fact, it's amazing that I can even keep a semblance of a freelance career afloat at all. So you just imagine... with creative writing projects like the one I just mentioned sitting at the tail end of this long list of priorities, there's hardly ...

 I take my specs off and attempt to clean it yet another time. My frustration grows as I still fail to pinpoint exactly where the smudge on the lens is at. This dim bedroom lighting is definitely not helping.   Staring at the laptop late at night like this is a challenge, and I feel as though it is getting worse lately. At times, it feels like I have to strain my eyes just to focus on what's on the computer screen.  I've just sipped up the last few dregs of my homemade iced coffee. I'm now savouring as much as I can of the remaining ice cubes in my glass. I'm popping one into my mouth every few minutes, sucking it till they dissolves into water once more that trickles down my throat.  My husband is snoring. My sons are asleep too. It's 4+am in the morning. And I am trying to work. But concentration is hard to come by. And my progress seems so slow.  The deadline for this copyedit job is creeping up in just a few days.  Meanwhile, I fleetingly consider ...

 So many hindrances to writing lately.  There's this neverending list of outstanding chores. And the immediate family needs, whatever those may be at any particular point in time.  Meanwhile, paid editorial work should always take precedence, should it not? Hence, all passion projects and personal ambitions will need to be sidelined whenever a new income stream emerges. I should be thankful, yes?  Then, there is this issue with my specs that cropped up lately. The coating has been peeling and it's starting to get in the way of my line of vision. I mean, like, literally. The light bounces off the affected areas on my specs and then it bothers my eyes as though there's a constant glare in my eyes.  And my son keeps making ad-hoc requests to use the laptop. To do online searches and to read random stuff online. To play games. To video call his friend.  Not to mention that I am oh-so-tired over this Chinese New Year season. Everything ang ang, including the cur...

So I've been trying to make inroads into authorship lately.  It's not the first time I've tried writing creative stuff but I think I don't try doing it often enough. Also, out of the many times that I have actually made attempts, there have been only a handful of occasions where I have successfully produced something.  Mostly, I stick to poetry and short stories because those were things that have always seemed manageable to me. I have now and then also tried writing longer forms of fiction in the past, mostly for Nanowrimo, and those have all failed.  I am currently attempting to write a novel (or two or more!) in order to enter it into a competition. Such gradiose ambitions. I don't even know if I'll really make it in time for the deadline.  I guess for now I'll just be content if I can have a manuscript written out. Perhaps nothing much will become of it, but if I could just write one and complete it, maybe something magical will eventually happen.   And...