Pa

'Twas my father's birthday yesterday. He turned 76.

I often think about how many more years I'll have with my parents nowadays. Especially in this present season where it seems like Death is on a roll lately. 

I fear sudden endings that I am not prepared for. 

It's always extremely easy to fall into the trap of taking things for granted when everything is within reach and just right in front of you. Like I can call or message or pop by to see my Pa or Mum anytime. And so I worry that I'll not take the notion of limited time seriously enough. 

But so far, I think I can say that I don't really have that much regrets. 

I mean, I chose to stay in the same city and in a location close to my parents all this while. And we do meet fairly regularly. So there's that at least. 

Meanwhile, it made me a little sad yesterday when Pa told me that not many people had remembered his birthday at church. I'm usually not one to remember other people's birthdays and to prioritise on wishing them, but incidents like this make me wonder if I should make more effort to do these kinds of things. 

As people age, do they often get bothered by the fact that less and less people seem to remember or appreciate them? Perhaps. And maybe understandably so. It's a form of loneliness, I suppose. 

And in the case of my father, it's accentuated by the fact that he recently lost his brother (my uncle) and that he is now the only surviving member of his immediate family. Realising this disturbed me on many levels: How would I feel if it ever came to the situation that I was the only one left? 

There isn't any really significant point I'm trying to drive home in this post. Just some thoughts. Hope to return soon with other discussion topics. 

For now, I suppose I should try to make the most of this public holiday.