Finish

Starting things is easy. Finishing them... well, that's another story. 

I am so tempted to abandon my novel right now. I've been plodding along at it for more than a year now, and it's disheartening how slow progress is sometimes or how bleak it is in reality that my story will ever find a decent home for itself someday. Even the email that I sent out to an acquisition editor who was previously keen on my manuscript has gone without a reply for some time now and it makes me wonder if anyone is truly keen on my novel after all. 

On other matters, the year has set itself in motion by now and a somewhat new routine has been slowly emerging. It's a little hindered right now though as both my kids have fallen ill and therefore, school attendance will be temporarily put on halt as they recover. Influenza B, it seems. Rather unexpected, but I guess this is bound to happen at some point to us. 

I guess I'm just glad that I seemed to have gotten away without having contracted the illness. Though that's not to say that I had entirely escaped catching a cold, which I did about a week or so ago. I've always been prone to these things, nearly all throughout my life. But at least there had been no fever and it's not as severe as what my other family members have endured lately. 

Ah, but I'm rambling, am I not? 

Sometimes it feels as though the elements that make up my life aren't really much of anything. Everyone else's tales and adventures seem far more illustrious. My ambitions and achievements seem to always pale in comparison. But I try to tell myself, these are not the benchmarks on which I am building my life. That there are other things I am focussing on, and that it will all count for something in the end. 

Nevertheless, I cannot shake the lingering sentiment that I always feel rather small. Tiny, in fact. Not even significant enough to be considered a drop in the ocean. Or a ripple in a tide. Just... a quivering in the wind. A feeble stir upon the surface of already murky waters. 

Okay, well, so I'm blubbering all kinds of nonsense at these unearthly hours. I guess I should take my leave for now. I suppose it's nice to just chatter and not self-restrain the thoughts for awhile. Thanks for keeping my company, dear Reader. I shall soon return again. With better tales to regale you with, I sincerely hope. 

Till then, know that I still exist out there and still aspire to make a mark in this world... and, God willing, the next also. 

See you again soon.